I have always been raised up in a Christ-like centred home. Daily family prayer and attending church was always a part of me- it was mandatory in our home. I guess I was never introduced or I had never known anything else but Christ. I had always been told of my Father who was in heaven and His son, Jesus Christ, who had died for my sins. So throughout my childhood this is what I was made to believe. I believed it to be true because I was never given any other opportunity to believe in anything else.
As a child I never disputed this. So when my family (my mother, sister and three brothers`) got baptised I also wanted this joy for myself. I knew it was one of the principles of the church and I also wanted to be a part of this. A year later (28 February 1998) I also got baptised. It was the greatest feelings ever. I remember being scared to share my testimony but I did it. This never meant much to besides the fact I knew it was a commandment and my mom had done it. One thing I knew for sure was that she would never leave me astray and if she was I guess then I was prepared to be led astray. At this point in my life I was living on what is well know to be 'borrowed light'. I was living on the testimony of others, my mother and all of those who were around me.
I would look forward to the first Sundays as I would go and bear that testimony of the things I had ‘believed’ to be true. As I got a bit older I started to ‘know’ that these things are true. I guess as the years went by from believing to knowing it was ‘my mother’s personal growth’. Each time she grew I felt growth in me. Until I was in Matric- grade 12 (2008). I had realised I have been living under what we call ‘borrowed-light’. My testimony and everything was borrowed. I had a desire to be re-baptised, re-confirmed to the church. I felt like I was only just an investigator. After I had realised this I had a desire to have a testimony of my own; the testimony of the church, the Book of Mormon, the Plan of Salvation...
I did not have an amazing experience, get knocked by a car experience to make me believe that there is a living God. I guess it was the light of Christ and the basics that there is a supreme being, something higher and above us all. I remember how our principal would always highlight that; “we should never be afraid to stand alone” and later onwards on attempts to convert my friend, Elder Vance (now known as Ryan) and I wrote her a note on the pamphlet ‘For the Strength of Youth’ which at the end ended like this ‘Never lower your standards to meet the standards of the world’. I felt as much as this was not directly directed at me; it was my time to stand alone as a witness of God. It was the time I took my seat on my royal throne as a daughter of a Heavenly King and be true to my divine nature. This was the time I was to become active about the gospel and not passive.
This I guess was the point where my true conversion came. And I am still progressing powerfully even though Satan still tries to tempt me. I shall not be moved as in that year (2008) I learnt how to be steadfast and immovable...
True conversion yields the fruit of enduring happiness that can be enjoyed even when the world is in turmoil and most are anything but happy. As you pray for guidance, the Holy Ghost will help identify the personal changes you need to make for full conversion. The Lord can then bless you more abundantly. Your faith in Him will be fortified, your capacity to repent will increase, and your power to consistently obey will be reinforced. The Saviour lives. He loves you. As you do your best, He will help you. ♥ ♥
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