A bunch of words

So, I have always felt that I have a story to tell. But I have been reluctant in sharing my story. I have held back words because I have looked down on myself. I have remembered the stories told to me by friends and have felt my story better stay within the walls of my mind. Also, I have felt I do not have good writing skills! My grammar is worse than of a grade 1 child. :(  I may not speak as eloquently as I would like. Words may not fall of my tongue as easily as I'd hope they would, but I am me! I am special in my very being. My very existence matters! I may not seem significant to others but I know there are people who are blessed by my presence.

When I started this post I had nothing pre-planned. I thought I would just mix up a few words of what I am feeling. But as I continue with it... words are failing me. I am losing my train of thought and I am not inspired at all. i guess it will suffice me to stop here as a first post after years of nothingness.

Update on me:
I am alive. I am kicking. I have moved to Pietermartitzburg (Early March, 2017) to further my dreams and become the woman I hope my future children would be proud of! My family is two siblings less. My sister is a doctor and living her dreams! My parents are ageing and it scares me that they might die. My heart could never handle such. So, I pray for their health!

Dating!

Date as many as you can?

Date as many as you can?

Well after a very interesting Monday evening conversation with a few friends of mine, my mind was left unsettled by this statement. DATE AS MANY AS YOU CAN. I always taught or have known cheating to be when one person dates more than one person at time. Exactly what my friends are promoting by saying; date as many as you can and when you ready to marry REDUCE! Sounds like a good plan only if emotions were not involved.

Steps to a successful 'date as many as you can' relationship is;
1) The people you are dating must not know each other (or else it will cause tension between them),
2) Do not tell them that they are the only one (because you will be considered to be lying) and
3) Don't give them any opportunity to ask you if they are the one.

WOW! These are the simple steps I gathered from our conversation that makes a successful 'date as many as you can' relationship. Apparently the only time its wrong is when you get caught?!? This left me thinking once again, what is the definition of cheating? 'Cause to me this setting is not far off from it.

According to Wikipedia (bad source to quote- I know but it puts my point across) cheating is "... doing anything, whether verbal or physical, that one would not do in front of their significant other. Such examples would include: expressing attraction to another person, electronic communications,texting, data, kissing, making out, and sexual relations." 


Dictionary.com describes cheating as not being faithful to a spouse or lover; "adulterous husbands and wives"; "a two-timing boyfriend".


With all of this said one can gather that this little notion of date as many as you can, can be found to be cheating. I guess one thing that one must always have in mind is; DO UNTO OTHERS AS YOU WOULD HAVE DONE TO YOU. Because I doubt my friends even though they promote this notion that they would  appreciate being the 'significant other person' to the person they are dating. As bad as it may sound we all love to loved and we would love for all the attention from the one we are dating to be ours only. We are jealous souls just like our Father who is in Heaven. 


My opinion is that relationships are not a team sport not until you are married and the babies start coming in goodly numbers. We need to understand why we need to date and what is it that we would like to gain from that relationship! As we come to know of these things for ourselves we will be able to respect our partners, achieve good qualities to enable us to become good husbands or wives to someone else one day, learn and develop skills that will build our characters for the better. 

As we start dating others our one and only golden rule should be to BE a GUARDIAN of VIRTUE. Respect yourself and your partner!! :)

Dangers of Falling for you

Dangers of me falling for you beckon me at the early hours of the morning
I find myself woven in a trap so delightful
I find myself wanting to call you at early hours of the morning
My mind reminds me of the barriers put in front of us
The rules placed to protect us

I see you as your eyes sparkle with love
My knees tremble to the ground by your presence
I fear the feelings I feel, I fear the feelings I feel

I see you look at me with love in your eyes
I see your lips echo sweet messages to me- yet all that comes out is a simple hello
The dangers of me falling for you beckon me at the early hours of the morning...

The forbidden fruit you are to my lips
Juicy and tender is thy taste
Juicy and tender is thy taste
Slowly the words fade thou shalt not... thou shalt not... 


As my feelings cloud the dangers  of me falling for you
                                                                                                                                         ...to be continued

The pieces of me

The pieces of me fitting together like a jigsaw puzzle. I've never felt such great joy and peace. I may be alone most of my time but I've found comfort in the Lord.

My desires have shaped me into this lovely young lady I am. I think I have 'bragging rights' but as a wise friend once mentioned "pride is the seed of destruction". So, I guess my rights don't go very far. I have changed from that girl who just knew to the girl who knows. My desires have shaped my priorities.

I have found joy in the things of the Gospel and I have come to know that there is no other place where one can come to find such joy and peace. But in the Gospel of Jesus Christ. At a very young and tender age, I've come to learn of these things by myself. Finding the true importance of being a Latter-Day Saints member and what it means to be a royal daughter of  a Heavenly King. My mind may keep telling me that I found these things late in my life but my heart says it could not have been at a better time.

My past still calls me- as people refuse to see the change in me. But I will let it go to voice mail as it has nothing new to say. I am in  the world but not of the world! By His great divine power I am perfected through Him. I do not scream perfection but I scream through His great and atoning sacrifice I am made whole again. I am a model of perfection- getting better with age. Grace by Grace.

The bits and pieces of me are coming together each day and soon I will be that woman who knows. I will take on my divine calling as a Mother in Zion. Soon the pieces of me will be complete and I will be a woman that truly knows...

Life of a fellowshipper

So I have never been the one to go around with missionaries. And the time I was suppose to we never found people to teach and just ended up walking around my neighbourhood. But all of that has changed. Grahamstown is the answer to all of my problems...

Finally- the missionaries asked me to go fellowshipping with them. The 'so-called-shy-me' looked around the room as the request was thrown at me. No, not me as I said to myself. Yes, the answer that fell from my lips as my mind was screaming NO, WAAAAYSSS YOU JUST DIDN'T. I guess these contrasting feelings felt that day led to the feelings of joy, peace, tranquillity and happiness, I feel now as I serve with the missionaries.

My time spent with the missionaries even though I enjoy more the jokes we pass in the car and the sarcastic remarks we pass at each other. I must say I learn a great deal from them. Patience is one of the principles I've come to learn. As investigators teach us to be patient with them. I also learn to rely on the Holy Spirit even more. When there comes a time I feel like I do not know what to say. It is always there to pick me up- and to say what I need to say at the right time. I've learnt to teach by the spirit. Most importantly, I'e come to learn how to love those I teach and meet. Its been difficult but its definitely worth it.

Fellowshipping has brought me great joy. It has thought me a whole load about myself, the people I meet and the Lord. It has moulded me into being a better person.

My conversion Story

I have always been raised up in a Christ-like centred home. Daily family prayer and attending church was always a part of me- it was mandatory in our home. I guess I was never introduced or I had never known anything else but Christ. I had always been told of my Father who was in heaven and His son, Jesus Christ, who had died for my sins. So throughout my childhood this is what I was made to believe. I believed it to be true because I was never given any other opportunity to believe in anything else. 

As a child I never disputed this. So when my family (my mother, sister and three brothers`) got baptised I also wanted this joy for myself. I knew it was one of the principles of the church and I also wanted to be a part of this. A year later (28 February 1998) I also got baptised. It was the greatest feelings ever. I remember being scared to share my testimony but I did it. This never meant much to besides the fact I knew it was a commandment and my mom had done it. One thing I knew for sure was that she would never leave me astray and if she was I guess then I was prepared to be led astray. At this point in my life I was living on what is well know to be 'borrowed light'. I was living on the testimony of others, my mother and all of those who were around me.

I would look forward to the first Sundays as I would go and bear that testimony of the things I had ‘believed’ to be true. As I got a bit older I started to ‘know’ that these things are true. I guess as the years went by from believing to knowing it was ‘my mother’s personal growth’. Each time she grew I felt growth in me. Until I was in Matric- grade 12 (2008).  I had realised I have been living under what we call ‘borrowed-light’. My testimony and everything was borrowed. I had a desire to be re-baptised, re-confirmed to the church. I felt like I was only just an investigator. After I had realised this I had a desire to have a testimony of my own; the testimony of the church, the Book of Mormon, the Plan of Salvation...

I did not have an amazing experience, get knocked by a car experience to make me believe that there is a living God. I guess it was the light of Christ and the basics that there is a supreme being, something higher and above us all. I remember how our principal would always highlight that; “we should never be afraid to stand alone” and later onwards on attempts to convert my friend, Elder Vance (now known as Ryan) and I wrote her a note on the pamphlet ‘For the Strength of Youth’ which at the end ended like this ‘Never lower your standards to meet the standards of the world’. I felt as much as this was not directly directed at me; it was my time to stand alone as a witness of God. It was the time I took my seat on my royal throne as a daughter of a Heavenly King and be true to my divine nature. This was the time I was to become active about the gospel and not passive. 

This I guess was the point where my true conversion came. And I am still progressing powerfully even though Satan still tries to tempt me. I shall not be moved as in that year (2008) I learnt how to be steadfast and immovable... 

Its that time of the year

So its that time of the year again, when people are rushing to get their Christmas shopping done, getting their Christmas spirits on! Ho! Ho! Ho! But for some its that dreadful time of the year when they are reminded that they are all alone and they have no one to hold. As some prepare to go on happy holidays for this summer, some long to have something to eat. When some stress about gaining weight some wish they had food to eat. But for me its that time of the year when I prepare myself emotionally and spiritually for the next year!

Well it always last as a preparation but hopefully this year things will change and for the better. So as I stress about my exam results that are coming out in a few weeks time. My heart is anxious as I know my faith is about to grow. They all say you reap what you sow but God's miracles will be revealed. I am so excited to see my faith grow in Jesus Christ and in Heavenly Father! I know things may not always go my way but I know that He will be there for me in which ever way things go.

This year has been fun filling, met a lot of people who I will forever cherish and I have made some mistakes. At the moment I am on a journey of repentance. So far so good but uSATANA UYANDILINGA! I will not be dismayed and never, never from thee will I stray!